We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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