I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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