so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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