Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
