He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
