When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
