his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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