idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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