I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
