I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
