Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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