Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
