you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
