We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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