Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
babies were throwing up all over the place
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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