He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
