At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
