I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
