If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
