So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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