I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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