I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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