why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
