If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
