i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
