He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize