I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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