Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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