I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
They are going to name an STD after you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
