if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
