Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
