Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
