Swine flu. Run for my life!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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