Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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