You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
