I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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