i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
