In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize