9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize