Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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