as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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