Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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