I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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