i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
