In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize