the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
