dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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