On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
