her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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