I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
