I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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