Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
