Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
