my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Alive.
So much puke
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You were trust falling into bushes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
