Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
