maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
