In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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