Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
