I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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