Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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