i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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