it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
