Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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