As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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